To Sir Garces

Dearest Sir,

I would not want to bombard you with a long, sentimental letter today. Feeling ko, pagod ka na rin sa pag-check ng mga papers namin, kaya kung gagawin ko pang ma-drama ito, baka mamaya hindi na kayo maka-check at lalo pa kayong ma-depress. =)

I've heard a lot of stories about you from the upperclassmen. Terror daw kayo. Mahirap ang mga tests. By the book, kaya subukan ko raw sagutan lahat ng exercises sa TC7. But I never thought I'd get to know a different kind of person. (hindi po ito bola)

Lagi na lang po akong nalulungkot dahil sa math. Minsan tinatanong ko ang sarili ko kung bakit ang dali na nga ng test, hindi ko pa rin masagutan ng maayos. Kahit ilang oras akong mag-review, wala pa rin. Siguro nasa mindset ko na iyon.

Mahirap ang math. At kahit sabihin ko pa na gifted class ako, o MTG ako nung Grade School at kung anu-ano pa, walang mangyayari, lalo na kung talagang 52/200 lang ang nakukuha ko sa midterms...at C, C+, D ang Math 18a, 18b & 21 ko.

Sabi ko nga dati, "I want to fall in love with math..." at kinaiingitan ko ang mga taong magaling sa math o kahit mga taong mahilig sa math. Pero ganun talaga e. Nung nagsabog siguro ang Diyos ng analytical, critical at kung anu-ano pang thinking, nahihimbing pa ako sa pag-tulog.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I was really inspired because of you, sir. Last sem, sabi ni Sir Tabares, Magis dapat. Kaya ayan, nagMagis ako..pero kulang pa rin e. Siguro, isang bagay na natutunan ko sa inyo, yung compassion =)

Sorry sir, kung naiyak ako kanina sa math dept. Parang naisip ko kasi na I didn't deserve getting a D, dapat F talaga kasi bagsak bagsak talaga ako e! Tapos naisip ko rin na I should have given my best all the way. Naisip ko rin na mas naintindihan ko ang lesson dahil sa pagtuturo niyo, pero ako talaga ang may problema.

Anyway, no matter what the outcome of my grade would be, I'm quite sure that even if I would have to repeat Math 22 again, hindi ako bitter at wala akong galit sa inyo. ;) Yung lang po sir. Hehehe...

I hope you have fun reading the stuff that I wrote here in my journal. Pasensya na po kung yung iba walang kwenta. You can click on the Archives on the side to read all my entiries for per month since I started writing. ;)

See you around sir!

'til our paths cross again.

Uulit ba ako?!

"... if I think I have passed the same place twice, it too becomes real?"
"Yes."
"But what if I pass it twice before I think it?"
"That means you were not aware of it the first time. Anything you are not aware of you have to experience again."
"Why?"
"Because if you weren't aware of it, you didn't pass it. You didn't experience it."
"But what if I am aware of it the second time?"
"Then you experienced it once. The law is simple. Every experience is repeated or suffered till you experience it properly and fully the first time."

Words of Wisdom from Ben Okri.

So if I repeat Math 22..it means I was not aware of basics in math, then I was not able to experience it....

Every experience will be repeated or suffered until you experience it properly and fully the first time...

Hinagpis ng Math Problem sa akin

nasa harap mo lang ako...
pero hindi mo ako napapansin.
ano bang kailangan kong gawin?
upang ako rin ay iyong sagutin?

Unsure of the Probability

It has been found out...that after 3 math subjects in college, I only got an A long test once. Thus, a 1/22 percentage. With my math subject, I can either get 1 A LT as well or flunk it.

But what is the probability of math and me?
is the p-value greater than 0.05?

If after comparing our means, we find out that it is less than 0.05, then it would mean that there is a significant difference between the two of us.

If after comparing our means, we find out that it is more than 0.05, then it would mean that there is no significant difference between the two of us.

And if after computing for the value of D or H or S..we exceed the critical value of being friends. Then we can fervently say that there is no difference between the two of us.

We are the same. We are one.

But that will only happen if we will have a normal distribution of our love. I suggest a non-parametric test for values that may be off-scale. My love and effort for math might be exceeding the values we have set...approaching infinity, while math's love for me may be a trace.

The correlation between being industrious and being intelligent is very high...

How sad..that in statistics, though the randomness of the teacher you will meet is extremely expected you could still fail, considering that all samples have the equal opportunity to be selected.

Sadly too, in a million people, I chose to study in the Ateneo. But this choice of has a lot of repercussions as well.

Since there is insufficient evidence to conclude that there is something in math that should be considered valuable and applied to life sometimes....

Math is just a statistic
to be added
to the number of things
that break my heart.

48/100

Akala ko magiging masaya ako ngayon.
Pero hindi e.
May hinahanap hanap...
may inaasam asam.
may kulang.









2 points








2 points na lang!

Paradoxes

"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love." -Mother Theresa

"I have found the paradox that if I study hard to pass, I don't pass, but only more studying to do after the test." -Jem Baldisimo

Ang hirap!

Hindi ko tuloy alam kung tama ba ang naging desisyon ko. May parte sa sarili kong nagsasabing, hinde! hindi ko dapat ginawa yun...Pero may nagsasabi ring tama, tama ang ginawa ko. Pero ginawa ko ba iyon dahil wala na akong pagkakataong mamili pa?

Hay naku! Nakakainis naman to.

Hindi ko alam kung pa'no saguting tong math example na to.

Nalilito sa math

Di malaman ang gagawin
di maintindihan ang kailangang gawin

lalayo na lang ba sa'yo at lilimutin
o lalapit pa para ako'y mapansin

lilisanin ka na ba
pagkat ako ay sawa na?
sa iba ibabaling
ang aking tunay na pagsinta?

o mananatiling sa iyo lamang
puso ko't isipan
kahit alam ko naman...

mas masosolve ko to...

kung nag-aral lamag ako!

Wonderful

I took my 3rd math longtest yesterday and was quite glad that I didn't really have a hard time answering the questions. Ngayon lang ulit ito nangyari. I feel so wonderful!

Math is really fun.

I just have to do my best soon...or else, I'm going to flunk my Fil, Microbio and Math test next week.


Aja!

OUT burst

I'm going to have an outburst later on.

Here are a bunch of things I'm supposed to accomplish soon:

1. Study for : Theo, Math, Fil & Microbio (May tests na akong sunud-sunod)
2. Fix HR stuff and my training
3. Do a lot of papers
4. Live a life

hahaha..to put it bluntly. Ang pangit ng mga pangyayari kasi ang daming gagawin. OH nO!!!!

I might not be able to post soon..so kitakits na lang around :)

I'm but a worm

Math Problem Part 2

Akala mo tama ka. Hindi pala.

Ako nga ang tama. Ayaw mo kasing maniwala. Nagawa mo pa akong sigawan.

Pasensya na ako. Hindi ka talaga magaling sa ganyan. At palagi mong ipinipilit ang gusto mo, tulad ko.

Ang hirap naman ng ganito. Buong pag-aakala mo, naiintindihan mo. Iyon pala'y hindi pa.

Kahiya-hiya namang kailangang batukan pa kita para maisip mong tama ako.

Hindi ko alam kung dapat akong matuwa o malungkot.

Pero sa ngayon, nakangiti ako, para takpan ang sakit na dulot ng pangyayari. At paulit-ulit kong inaalala sa aking hagap ang imahen kong binabatukan & tinatawanan ka...

kasi ikaw ay isang tanga...manghihingi ka ng tulong pero hindi ka nagtitiwala...handa naman akong tulungan ka at aminin ang pagkakamali ko, pero matigas lang talaga ang ulo mo & ayaw mo magpatalo.

Nakakatawa ka. Tanga ka. Pero mahal kita.


teka...

Ako pala yung tanga.

Math Problem Part 1

Akala ko tama ako. Hindi pala.

Pasensya ka na. Hindi talaga ako magaling sa ganyan e.

Ang hirap naman ng ganito. Buong pag-aakala ko, naintindihan ko na. Iyon pala'y hindi pa.

Kay sakit isiping ikaw pa ang kinakailangang magsabi sa akin noon.

Hindi ko alam kung dapat akong matuwa o malungkot.

Pero sa ngayon, umiiyak ako dahil sa sakit na dulot ng pangyayari. At paulit-ulit kong inaalala sa aking hagap ang imahen kong naglalakad palayo sa iyo, sumisigaw, nananaghoy, nananawagan...

na sanay hindi ka na lamang nanghingi ng tulong dahil hindi ko naman pala alam kung ano yan, sabi mo...at hindi kita matutulungan sa bagay na iyan.

kapit lang...

I think I'm ok. I'm holding on..though I don't know if I'm really holding on to something or to nothing..but whatever it is, I know I'll be alright..I guess..Basta kapit lang. Baka sakali kasing may mangyari bukas, sa makalawa, o baka rin hindi na. Basta..Basta...


baka sakaling pumasa pa...

__________ day

I couldn't really describe today...

Happy..
because our math22 and fil12 LT was postponed...
because tomorrow, wala ulit class...
because i'm here w/ em..at may ilaw rito!
because there's no theo paper and fil paper to pass tomorrow!
because i'm just happy ;)

Sad...
theo paper isn't finished yet..
strains HR assignments..not yet finished
bday cards..unfinished
math LT..di pa nakakapagaral
aaaaahhhh....

Pabalik-balik lang ako....Going in circles....

im tired of this...

Crazy teachers...

I've always seen teachers as influential people. Most of the time, learning inside the classroom is better if you have an inspiring teacher. Kumbaga, kahit ga'no pa kahirap ang tinuturo nya, kung mahusay naman siya, e para que ang "hirap" ng subject?!

I've met a lot of teachers in the past. Iba't ibang levels, iba't ibang subjects, iba't ibang problema. May mabait, pero masama magalit. May masungit, pero magaling magturo. May terror at nangbabagsak ng mag-aaral. May mabait, pero good luck sa mga tests nya. May mga walang kwenta. May mga parang memorize ang buong libro. May boring. May masaya. At may mga teacher na kapag hindi mo na guro, namimiss mo...Hay...

I want to be a teacher someday. I think I'm beginning to like the idea..really! I want to go back to my high school and teach..Just to give back everything that they've taught me...

I'm having a hard time dealing with my Fil 12 teacher. I really miss Mr. Jacobo (Fil 11 teacher last year). Sana siya na lang ulit. Pa'no ba naman kasi, may favoritism 'tong new teacher namin. HMPH! Nakakawalang gana..excited pa naman akong matututo..Though I know that I shouldn't feel this way..pero minsan talaga nakakainis lang na she doesn't appreciate (and instead...nangungutya pa...) the things we say when we recite...

Crazy teachers do drive me crazy!

Argh!

On the other hand, all my other teachers are blessings.. ;)
I'm enjoying Mr. Lopez', Dr. E, Dr. P, Mr. Garces & Mr. Iriola's classes.

Hay...

ass-u-me

Sir Winfer told us...

"Assume the easiest way to assume.."

But how do you do that?! When each time you are led to something...you try to push it away..just because assuming might lead you to getting hurt...

assuming the wrong thing = pain
assuming nothing = hard to do
assuming the right thing = ;)

but what is the probability of everything?

70:30:10

Ayoko na..ayoko naaaaaa!

Getting of Grades

I was hoping for the best...not that I did my best this sem, but I knew what was coming. Basta walang F...

I got a B for Bio lecture, Chem lecture and Chem lab..C+ both for Envi Stat and Bio lab..and a D for Math21...in fairness..A a ko sa swimming..my favorite P.E. ;)

I had to go to two departments to fill in my missing grades. I went out to lunch with a few Strainers and watched a movie, White Chicks. Honestly, nun lang ulit ako nakapanood ng movie. The last one was Spider Man 2 (Where Tj and I cried a lot of times!)

Today, I felt light. After evsem, ngayon ko lang ulit naramdaman yung gaan ng pakiramdam. Na nakaupo ka lang, kasama ang mga kaibigan mo at daglian kayong tumatawa sa napapanood nyo. White Chicks was funny...mababaw ang kwento, though may parts na napaisip ako tungkol sa mga sinabi nila.

Gusto ko pa rin manuod ng Sharktale...kahit mag-isa ako!!!!!

1st Sem Lessons

What a way to end the semester. Joan, Benjie, Mamon, Carol, Emee and I stayed @ M.O. the whole day to finish our Biolab project. I checked some ES 10 papers for Dr. Claveria from 830-1030 and followed Joan at the Teacher's Lounge to do our project.

We all had a great time..Kahit sobrang gutom kami lahat...Pa'no ba naman..3pm na kami kumain ng "lunch"! Halos lahat pa kami hindi nagbreakfast! Wahahahahaha...We ordered food @ Ken Afford...Noon lang ulit ako nakakain sa Ken Afford! At nun lang ulit kami kumain as a "block" ng sama-sama...Ang sarap ng food! waaaaaaaah!

What a way to end the sem. For most of us...this is the worst sem we've had. Well, compared to my freshmen year..yes..it is. I knew right from the start that this sem was gonna be a hell lot difficult than last year. I was expecting to much from my self this sem. I wanted to do better than last year. Pa'no ba naman..parehas lang yung QPI ko ng 1st sem and 2nd sem last year...to think I did give my all for the second sem. Hay...

Math is my waterloo. And I did a lot of things just to make my grades higher than average. But I guess I didn't have much of the will and gusto to do more...I learned the value of having Magis and having a dream or vision that is more than average. Nakuntento na kasi ako sa C or D e..Basta hindi F.

Lesson #1: Magis

This sem has been very emotional..hahaha..seryoso! I guess I always let my heart carry me to wherever it wanted to go...

Lesson #2: Balance the heart and mind

Lesson #3: You don't know what you've got 'til its gone

We take a lot of things forgranted. And when these things disappear, it is only then when we realize that what we have held on to was actually there...

I'm taking a break now..time to reflect on the things I learned last sem...I need to recharge, to think things over...to recollect..to realize..that some things I look for are just there..waiting to be discovered.

Suntok sa buwan

to get a C in Math 21..I need a perfect score in my math finals..

Great..just great!

What grade do you need? What grade do you deserve?

Sir Winfer Tabares asked us to write an essay on what grade we deserve to get for Math 21 and waht grade we really need.

F - grade I deserve..kasi kahit nagppractice ako every night..wala pa rin. I forget all the formulae, I flunk my tests. I've only passed 2 tests! My midterms and one LT...by 1 point ha! All the rest, kinulang..because of carelessness and of my failure to memorize efficiently. Understanding + Appreciation = Mastery! Yes, I do understand our lessons, but I haven't appreciated it. Nahihiya na ako kay Winnie the Fer kasi ang galing nya magturo..at ako, isang hamak na mag-aaral na nagsisipag pero wala naman. Talk about Magis..nagiging kuntento na lang ako sa basta pasadong grade..."Sir, kung sa tingin nyo F na...F nyo na!"

D - grade I need...malamang! Being an OAA scholar (Note: this sem & this year lang ako naging scholar..), I can't get an F..kundi goodbye 50% scholarship na ko! My parents would be dissappointed in me..at sisisihin nila ang mga extra-curriculars ko (uh..isa lang yun..Strains)! Pero hindi naman Strains ang may kasalanan e. Ako. Kaya ifu-full force ko talaga tong finals week. Buti na lang 1 test a day lang ako! wohooooo! Kaya to! Tapos at the end of the week lalabas pa kami ni Charlie... Sana maabot ko ang langit sa Math...

Muntik nang maabot ang langit...

Lahat tayo'y may pangarap. Bata pa lang ako, hinikayat na ako ng aking mga magulang na mangarap ng mataas at maging masipag upang makamit ang mga ninaais ko. Hanggang ngayon naman siguro ganun pa rin e. Kahit sino naman yata na hindi kuntento sa kanilang buhay ay nangangarap pa. Pero minsan iniisip ko, ano pa nga ba ang silbi ng pangangarap kung hindi mo rin naman ito makakamit? At kung ito lang rin ang magiging nitsa ng iyong pagkabigo?

Hay...Oo, mahirap mangarap...masasaktan ka lang kung di mo ito makakamit. Parang ikaw..pangarap ko...hanggang pangarap na lang...

ang pangarap kong A sa math...baka A for effort na lang! huhuhu

Formulae

I couldn't help but be teary-eyed as Mr. Tabares was talking in front of class. I never knew I'd be touched by what he was saying. He was disappointed with our scores in the recent long test. He talked about doing well in math 21..and about being mediocre..A C and a D is mediocre. As Ateneans, we should get higher grades... I was guilty..I was one of the people who were mediocre, getting a C in math 18a and a C+ in math 18b. I was always contented with getting whatever score I got. Basta hindi bagsak..basta hindi D. And now, in math 21, all I want is a D..Lord, please..wag naman po sana ako maka-F...I know it's wrong to wish for something like a D...but with my class standing (22 pts to get a D!) I know I couldn't get a C...(Scholar pa naman ako..no 2Ds or 1 F!!!!) I'm too mediocre. With my desire to be good in a lot of things in my acads, I fail to give more priority to math...I practice almost everyday though...but my concentration and my willingness for math just disappears when its LT time..

UNDERSTANDING + APPRECIATION = MASTERY

On Friday, Mr. Tabares is going to ask us to write an essay on what grade we think we deserve...If I'd be honest, I want to get an F..just to get the feel of getting an F in a 6-unit course...for me to wake up (as if i'm not awakened...) as soon as possible...But on the other hand, I guess I don't need to get this F to work harder. I NEED TO WORK HARDER NOW. I want to get a D..if there is any consolation...My dream A or C is far, far away...Kaya naman e...Kakayanin.. 22 points to get a D...(from 10 points..to 22 points!)

I-cut mo na ang lahat...wag lang Math!

I only attended one class today...and it was because I woke up late this morning. I actually opened my eyes @ 7AM...and then told myself: "mamaya na...730.." But when I opened my eyes..it was already 9:06 AM! I'm late for class!!!!!! I cut all my classes today..well, except math of course!

hay

There are times when you just feel like jumping from a 1000 storey building just to get the feeling of falling down…

There are also a lot of things that we fail to see…some things that are LEFT unnoticed.

Needless to say, there are a lot of things in life we take for granted…

Just like the chance to be with someone more special..

Yuck…I’m actually writing crap…Yehey…

...

Math long test = crying time again

Ma 21

on my mind
adding
subtracting
searching for the value
of that function
j(x)
hidden in my heart

but then i realize
that there is a limit
to this case

as I approach you

you + me = zero

Math Class w/ Yu

Tulala kapag kinakausap
Lumilipad ang isip sa alapaap

Parabola
Hyperbola

Gusto ko ng bola-bola
Ang tagal tagal naman
Sana lunch na

pero
Sige pa rin
Ang dada
Ang pagsolve
Ang dutdot sa calcu

Walang magawa
Walang masabi
Walang maintindihan
Walang maalala
Sa mga nangyayari

At paulit-ulit kong tinatanong
Sa aking sarili

kahit magred bull o ira
kahit one week before mag-aral ka na

bakit di ako pumapasa
bakit ako andito pa
bakit di ko ma-gets

ang math class ko

with yu

Page 14

I borrowed your math book
And was planning to return it
With a note
Telling you
How much
I
Love
You

I planned to place it
At page 14
Exactly
Where
The math exercise was given

But before I
Had the chance
To slip the note
Inside..

You came running
Towards me
And the note,
I had to hide.

I returned your book
Immediately
As the wind
Blew it away

My note could have been
In page 14

I guess
I’ll just put it there
Someday…

Ang Aking Libro Sa Math

Gaya ng nakasanayan
Magkasama tayo.
Tayong dalawa muli
Sa silid na ito.
Pahiram ng libro,
‘yan ang wika mo
ngunit napaisip ako
sa sinabi mo

ipahihiram ko ba ang aking libro?

Ayoko
Baka mabasa niya sa mga pahina nito
Ang tunay na nilalaman
Ng puso ko.
Baka Makita niya sa mga larawan dito
Ang dinudulot niyang kulay
Sa mundo ko.
Baka madama niya sa mga dahon ng libro
Ang saying dala niya
Sa pakiramdam ko.
Baka mahanap niya ang mga sagot
Sa mga katanungan
Sa aking kalooban.

Sige na nga,
Gagawin ko

Bahala na kung
Mabasa
Makita
Madama
mahanap
Na

Kung ang damdamin ko’y
Malaman na niya

Palagay ko rin naman
Kapag tapos na siya

Ang aking libro’y
Ibabalik din niya…